This week I have been sorting through old pics in efforts to
finish begin Jack's first year scrapbook. Jack turned 2 in January...I am a little behind. This pic is of him at about 3 months old, which was 2 years ago! Time flies. Baby Jude is about to turn a year old, and I haven't even started Jack's scrapbook or even thought about poor Jude's.
It really bugs me.
It bothers me that I am so behind. Not scrapbooking major events for over 2 years is just not me.
allowing the floor of my car be coated in cracker crumbs and fruit snacks,
tolerating mixed up colors of play dough and paint,
not noticing the smell of sour milk,
driving with an expired inspection sticker and registration,
enjoying an Imagination Movers concert,
putting on a t-shirt inside out,
preferring Diego over Dora,
getting excited about a sale at Carter's, and not even knowing the dates of Nordstrom's half yearly sale.
Becoming a mother is an incredible adjustment. I've changed my sleep, personal life, work load...the list goes on and on. I think I have handled those adjustments fairly well. I have the occasional, sometimes frequent, meltdown. But what I never expected, was that I would have to adjust to a new me. The me that lets things go and is a complete mess at times. It's hard. It's not easy to look down at my inside-out t-shirt, covered in sour milk. It's nearly impossible not to think of the me that would have been wearing a crisply ironed, white shirt, with stain-free khakis, while wearing those cute new heels I picked up at the Nordstrom's sale.
Just like going to college, moving into my first apartment, getting my first real job, getting married...I changed. Motherhood is the same. It brings a change of self much more overwhelming, but with many more benefits. So, I'll give myself a break and embrace the change. Except maybe the car inspection and registration. I probably should take care of those.